Call Me Sexy Ruby (just don’t make me smell like one)

I found myself in a Macy’s this past weekend.  I had to make a return but I decided to wander around the make-up counter area first.  I was surprised at how few people work at them anymore. You know how late-capitalism forced companies to combine jobs? I bet they just have someone from the shoe department come over and match your foundation if you stand at the Clinque counter for long enough.

I came of age in the mall era and I still find them very calming. High ceilings, odd lighting, creepy mannequins – I love all of it. I believe that malls are the weighted blanket of 80s children.

Ever notice how, despite the fact there there are thousands of products at a department store make-up counter, they always smell the same everywhere and have for decades?  Well I do. Probably because I worked one of my favorite jobs at a make up counter back in my salad days.   I found myself over-inhaling like the scent memory would have enough power to transport me back to applying eyeshadow on the crepe-y lids of an elderly woman sitting on a stool near my Shisedo counter.

Then I came across the fragrance counter and a display for MICHAEL KORS SEXY RUBY.  I said to myself, oh wait, now THIS is the answer to my troubles: sexytimegemstones.    And I spritzed and sprayed and waited for some magic.

SexyRubyDisplay

It’s too bad it really stinks. I love a floral but I hate when it’s smothered in the wrong warm somethingorrather.  Like someone stored their rose petal stash in a box of Nag Champa.

It really, really smells like some perfume that was trending in the early 90s.  I want to say Exclamation, but I haven’t smelled that in awhile. I remember the bottle so well, don’t you?

exclamation

I am also not writing the name correctly – ex’cla -ma’tion, got it?  And who knew? Khol’s still sells it – here’s the fragrance info:

An ecstatic floral splash. Exclamation by Coty is a candied flower shop in a bottle, with bright notes to excite your senses.

FRAGRANCE NOTES Apricot, green, peach, bergamot, orris root, jasmine, heliotrope, lily of the valley, rose, sandalwood, amber, cinnamon, musk, vanilla and cedar.

 

Well well well,  now I want to do a side by side comparison of that with Sexy Ruby to see what is making me think of the 90s. Looks like ol ex’cla -ma’tion had apricot and rose and lily of the valley all mixed with some amber and sandalwood too (eeesh…not my fave).

But let’s not focus on the negative! I love a ruby. It’s my birthstone and I consider it one of the more goth-royal birthstones. I also think more people should be named Ruby and that we should do a study on old ladies named Ruby to see if their lives have been rich and sexy.

Speaking of sexy – even though I don’t like this scent, I can’t help but appreciate how nonchalantly the word Sexy is used its name.  That’s a pretty hilarious word, try it out in front of anything you’d like to have in a fragrance: Sexy Daisy, Sexy Dynamite, Sexy Ocean.   Fun, huh? But this works because rubies, are indeed, sexy and also very expensive.

Remember this movie?

Well, it’s a pretty unsexy story about turtlenecks, boring arranged marriage sex, and rubies.

MICHAEL KORS SEXY RUBY page says:
A jewel of a fragrance inspired by Michael’s unique interpretation of sensuality, strength and glamour.  Boldly luxurious, brilliantly faceted, and mesmerizing to encounter.

Fragrance deets from SEPHORA

Fragrance Family: Floral

Scent Type: Warm Florals

Key Notes: Raspberry, Apricot, Indian Jasmine Sambac

About: A scent as brilliant as the jewel that inspired it. Michael Kors Sexy Ruby is a modern chypre that sparkles with sensuality. The temptation of velvet apricot and juicy raspberry gleams like a fiery ruby with the striking display of lush florals. The beguiling charm of luscious rose petals invites you in, while intoxicating Indian jasmine sambac pulls you close. It’s enveloped by the sensual warmth of cashmere woods for a boldly addictive experience.

CASHMERE WOODS – Wait a minute. Haven’t I seen or smelled that somewhere before?

GladeCashmereWoods

CashmereWoodsBath&BodyWorks

Oh that’s right. It’s a Glade scent and one of Bath & Bodywork’s popular fine fragrance mists (remind self to do a post on fragrance mists).

I don’t know if I ever need to smell this  or smell like this again. All I did after spraying it on was go home, fold some stained tattered kitchen towels, mourn the end of a relationship, and watch the devastating Whitney Houston documentary Can I be Me?  Why didn’t anyone ever let her be her?

Fifteenth Sample Breakdown

Terms or concepts learned: Orris Root!  According to this GQ article it is one of the most expensive materials to produce.  So, naturally, it is found in Coty’s $24 Ex’cla -ma’tion.

Things to work on:  Getting a real ruby and following the advice; “Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.”  If I can’t follow that advice I think I might just put that on one of those text-stagram posts so someone else can be inspired by it.

Magic, luck, or compliments this fragrance brought me:
I was at Macy’s to return an item I purchased online. It went so quickly I’m sure it is because the clerk wanted me to get my Sexy Ruby out of her face.

Websites discovered:
I found a very comprehensive blog post about Jasmine.

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