Trying to Stay Fresh: Moschino

My choice this time was based on 100% packaging. Moschino’s Fresh is in a cut out folder that looks like a tiny bottle of windex. Maybe this is one of those dual-use products. Should I try to clean my cell phone screen or countertop with it too?

FreshMoschino

I don’t know how to pronounce Moschino. I can’t get the idea of maraschino cherries out of my head when I see the name, so there’s no way I’m going to get it right unless I got help from Youtube:

My first spritz, on my wrist again, sends me back to a yellow can of Designer Imposters body spray – I think it was called “Primo”.

Turns out you can still buy Designer Imposters and I think they have expanded the line into something called, oh I don’t know – Axe body spray.

Primo

Fragrance tangent: Primo! is formulated with rare and costly essences normally used only in the most expensive perfumes. Primo! is a soft, all-over body fragrance and gentle effective deodorant. For a delightfully clean, fresh and feminine feeling all day, spray over entire body. Made in USA.       

Even though it was a gray and rainy Monday, I felt motivated and got stuff done. One could say that yes, I was feeling Fresh.  I like to sign off emails and text conversations with “Stay Fresh! XO” to let people know that I know how fresh they are. If you didn’t grow up on YO! MTV raps, It means cool, fly, and of great quality.

I’m not going to worry that this fragrance is evoking major association from the 90s because sense memory is a real.   

I was about to leave to meet my Fresh friend for happy hour and I noticed I didn’t smell Fresh at all. It was reminder that Freshness fades. I re-sprayed and sprayed again, this time in my hair and all over my coat.  I was pretty determined to have someone comment on my freshness.

Even though I’d emptied the entire bottle, by the end of the day I had received zero comments or compliments. Learning yet again that we suffer if we seek external validation of our Freshness. 

But why does this scent stink to me? 

The Moschino site shows the full size perfume bottle as an actual windex bottle.   Like the sample folder, the website has no information about freshness OR femininity.

FreshInside

The joke is on you for buying an expensive bottle of perfume that looks like windex and smells the teen that babysat you while you were watching Muppet Babies.

I need more description so I visit Sephora.

“A surprising and ironic perfume, Fresh Couture plays with fresh and joyful accents and a tempting femininity. A sparkling and compelling top note of bright mandarin and bergamot is enriched with the intense and exotic character of ylang ylang. A juicy and inviting touch of raspberry adds colorful and amusing contrast to the floral heart of elegant white peony and velvety osmanthus. The dry down underlines the refined and contemporary character of the perfume with a luminous, sensual trail of clear woods, white patchouli, and ambrox.
The ironic fun of the bottle makes the aspirational accessible to us all. A touch of gold detailing adds a nod to refinement and luxury.
Notes: Bergamot, Mandarin, Ylang Ylang, Raspberry, White Peony, Osmanthus, Cedarwood, White Patchouli, Ambrox.
Style: Fresh. Joyful. Feminine.”

Fresh. Joyful. Feminine.   Nothing makes you more joyful than a reminder that you have to clean your windows.

And there it is: Tempting femininity.  I’m going to compile a list of the adjectives used alongside femininity in fragrance descriptions.  I will probably write an analyst of it called “The Adjectivefication of Femininity”.

Seeing the list of fragrance notes tells me why I don’t really like this scent.  Too much going on. And they use Bergamot, the scent of two-and-a-half-star hotel body lotion.

Also, the smell doesn’t match the bottle. Everyone knows that a perfume in a windex bottle should smell more like ocean spray or fresh cotton or some other kind of Febreeze flavor.

Second Sample Day Breakdown

Terms learned:

Osmanthus:  a flowering tree native to China, valued for its delicate fruity apricot aroma.

Ambrox: a synthetic compound created as a replacement for natural Ambergris; it has a musky-ambery odor. This definition lead me to an article about Escentric Molecules Molecule 02 that explains: “Real ambroxan is found in ambergris, but the stratospheric cost of its extraction makes it prohibitive for use in fragrances. Ambergris itself is one of the few natural animalic fragrance ingredients that has no connotations of cruelty because it is produced and excreted by the sperm whale. It can float on the ocean for years evolving under the influence of sun and salt water. Then it is collected when it washes up on shore, by which stage its distinctive nutty, warm scent is a symphony of boronal, ambrinol, dihydro ionone gamma – and its best-smelling aromatic part, ambroxan.”

Things to work on: 

  1. Forcing people to notice my perfume. Should I remove the spray mechanism and just dumping it on my head?
  2. Project Adjectivefication of Femininity: My list of perfume adjectives used along with femininity.

Magic, luck, or compliments this fragrance brought me:   Cleaned up a bit, stay mostly fresh, got tons of errands and work done, and met a friend out for happy hour.

Websites discovered:  Now Smell This Perfume Glossary

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